Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Taking back my life...
The title pretty much says it all.
Over the last several months I've slowly become a hermit. Only leaving the house when absolutly necessary, keeping the blinds closed, doing everything possible to make it look like nobody's home. It worked too. The only person to ring the doorbell was a jehovah's witness but she shouldn't count. Simply because I lied and told her I was an athiest and that my name was Shelby... and because ahe rang everyone's doorbell that day.
Anyways, I finally realized what was happening. The kid shad been driving me crazy, they'd been on summer break for a few weeks and were becoming annoyed with their empty shell of a mom. So, slowly but surely I'm coming back out. Doing my hair, wearing nice clothes maybe even a little make up, the windows are open, kids are smiling, it's getting better...
I also managed to pack on about 25 pounds. Yikes! I started promoting (and participating in) the 90 day challenge by Visalus. I'm down 10 pounds already, 2 1/2 weeks in! Maybe I'll get around to posting my before pictures this weekend.
Depression sucks. It's a pig-faced meanie head that hides in a dark closet.... If we let it, it will gobble us up before we know what's happening...
Nice to be coming back home,
Carley
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
From back to school to the new year.
We had our Internet shut off to afford a better Christmas, during which time I also managed to smash my laptop screen *facepalm* sigh....
So let's catch up yet again!
School is going wonderful, the boys are learning more and more each day. I couldn't be happier that they love school so much.
Halloween was fantastic! The boys dressed as Mario, Luigi and Toad from Super Mario Bros. They were a huge hit and everyone recognized them.
Spending time with family for the holidays, both Thanksgiving and Christmas, was the greatest. Some I hadn't seen in a very long time. We actually made it to every extension of our families homes, the only way it could have been better was more time.
Winter break has come and gone and the boys have returned to school, happy that they haven't had to wear their coats. Here in Kansas we are experiencing a very warm winter, reaching into the 70's many days.
Back to the present:
We were excited to learn that Tanner and I will be returning to Chicago, in April, for another round of appointments for his cleft lip and palate. No surgery this time but we will learn about the next surgery that he will undergo and when. The only upsetting part about going is that we will more than likely be flying out on the twins' birthday. It breaks my heart knowing that I won't be with one of my babies on his birthday. So to try to make it up to my baby we're having an awesome party the weekend before and taking treats to school the day before we leave. It's a superhero theme, trying to stay away from the licensed characters. We're talking the Amazing Hunter and the Incredible Tanner! Any super party ideas from anyone out there?
So let's catch up yet again!
School is going wonderful, the boys are learning more and more each day. I couldn't be happier that they love school so much.
Halloween was fantastic! The boys dressed as Mario, Luigi and Toad from Super Mario Bros. They were a huge hit and everyone recognized them.
Spending time with family for the holidays, both Thanksgiving and Christmas, was the greatest. Some I hadn't seen in a very long time. We actually made it to every extension of our families homes, the only way it could have been better was more time.
Winter break has come and gone and the boys have returned to school, happy that they haven't had to wear their coats. Here in Kansas we are experiencing a very warm winter, reaching into the 70's many days.
Back to the present:
We were excited to learn that Tanner and I will be returning to Chicago, in April, for another round of appointments for his cleft lip and palate. No surgery this time but we will learn about the next surgery that he will undergo and when. The only upsetting part about going is that we will more than likely be flying out on the twins' birthday. It breaks my heart knowing that I won't be with one of my babies on his birthday. So to try to make it up to my baby we're having an awesome party the weekend before and taking treats to school the day before we leave. It's a superhero theme, trying to stay away from the licensed characters. We're talking the Amazing Hunter and the Incredible Tanner! Any super party ideas from anyone out there?
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Back to School
I know I already said that the twins went back to school. How excited all of us were. That excitement still continues to this day. Unfortunately my procrastinations put off me finding my camera by the first day of school, so I don't have the "I'm a good mom" pictures. You see, this is the second year that the boys have gone to school and I haven't gotten a first day picture either first day. I have one from the second day last year and today I was able to snag one before they ran to the bus....this is day 5. Way to go Mom, I know.
Little brother with the cheesy smile for the win!
The only way to keep Hunter from driving me crazy today was by telling him that we will be going to the park when they get home from school. One problem.... In my quest to get him to listen I completely forgot that it will be well over 100 degrees today, 106 to be exact. Any temperature over 95 makes the equipment (not to mention the ground) way too hot for Tanner. When we go to the park or any fun play areas Tanner crawls around and does his own thing. His wheelchair is primarily for school and when we go out, he will walk one day, so his time in his chair is limited to work his leg muscles. Anyways, it will be entirely too hot to play at the park today, so without meaning to, I lied to my 4 year old. So now I find myself scouring the Internet looking for a fun activity for inside that Hunter will stick with longer than 2 seconds.
Ideas?
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Absentee Blogger
That's me! I am an amazing procrastinator, horrible habit, I know.
I couldn't be more excited, I found out while checking my e-mail that someone had actually read one of my posts and not only that, they had commented! Hi Life with Kaishon!
The Twins went back to school which I can safely say, we ALL needed. I love my boys more than anything but sometimes Momma needs a break. A break that hasn't happened since May 18th.... so, YAY SCHOOL! They love their teacher and all of their therapists so much that when the bus pulled up I didn't even get a hug, they were on there before I could even tell them I loved them.
A few months ago, during a bad storm (tornado warning, sirens, lightning, hail... the whole shebang), Matt's grandmother (96 years old, what a trooper!) fell while trying to get to shelter with my mother-in-law and aunt....-in-law(?). The fall ended up breaking her leg. So after a risky surgery and a couple weeks in the hospital, she was moved to a rehabilitation center for therapy. None of our boys have been able to see her since, which confused them more than dogs sniffing butts. So all three boys, myself and my mother-in-law inthe trunk tow all went for a visit. She was so happy to see them and I being the idiot that I am forgot my camera to "capture the memories". Well duh, your phone doof!
And that's the way it is, Walter Cronkite
I couldn't be more excited, I found out while checking my e-mail that someone had actually read one of my posts and not only that, they had commented! Hi Life with Kaishon!
The Twins went back to school which I can safely say, we ALL needed. I love my boys more than anything but sometimes Momma needs a break. A break that hasn't happened since May 18th.... so, YAY SCHOOL! They love their teacher and all of their therapists so much that when the bus pulled up I didn't even get a hug, they were on there before I could even tell them I loved them.
A few months ago, during a bad storm (tornado warning, sirens, lightning, hail... the whole shebang), Matt's grandmother (96 years old, what a trooper!) fell while trying to get to shelter with my mother-in-law and aunt....-in-law(?). The fall ended up breaking her leg. So after a risky surgery and a couple weeks in the hospital, she was moved to a rehabilitation center for therapy. None of our boys have been able to see her since, which confused them more than dogs sniffing butts. So all three boys, myself and my mother-in-law in
Hunter really missed Great Grandma
Tanner and Great Grandma have always been television buddies
(I should also add that Blake did go with us but he was scared. You see, Great Grandma was in a hospital bed and her oxygen was sitting next to her, it frightened my sweet boy, thus, no pictures of him and Grandma.)
I always love reading other's blogs but one of my favorites is The Pioneer Woman. From reading I've gathered she only lives a few hours away so when she's writing about the hot, dry, horrible and gag worthy summer heat, I know exactly what she's talking about. My favorite part of her whole site is her cooking section and I have to say that her Homemade Chicken and Noodles is #1 on my list. So that's what we will be having for dinner tonight. Actually I'm making a double batch, one for tonight and one to send with the 3 musketeers this weekend, they're going to Grandma "Sushi", and I couldn't be more excited.
Matt and I's wedding anniversary is this weekend. Hence dropping the kids with Grandma all weekend. I plan to sleep like I haven't slept in 4 1/2 years and occasionally wake up to eat some good food and if there's any time left, love on my husband. Not in the gross way, jeez get your mind out of the gutter.... or maybe.... nope sorry.
Over and out,
Carley
Friday, August 12, 2011
Everyday Mundane
I probably should jump into my post for the day, but I find myself being quite the procrastinator. I have done some things around the house and now I'm exhausted. All I've accomplished is making 4 dozen (amazing) cookies with my secret recipe and cleaning the house....twice. There are so many things to do today, including writing the real post for today but it all must wait, because today is my sister's birthday. Happy Birthday to my amazing sister, I'm off to finish making your gifts.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
My Baby
My baby boy, not much of a baby anymore. Now he's two years old and I am so thankful that he hasn't had to endure the hardships that the twins have. My shy guy is sick today courtesy of the little girl I take care of during the week. Hopefully he will be feeling better here soon, he's currently snuggling with our lab, Gunner. Which once again makes me want to smack myself for not finding my camera charger, so off I go to find the elusive device that keeps me from sharing the cuteness that is my children.
Friday, July 29, 2011
The Twins
Four years old and full of energy. These boys jolted me into adulthood and I've never looked back. They have taught me as much if not more than I've taught them. They've had rough times that I wish I could have taken away from them, so that they'd never feel pain but they keep pushing through with smiles on their faces.
I was a teenager when I found out I was pregnant, to add to that shock I found out that I was carrying twin boys. It was time to grow up because there was no going back, so that's exactly what I did. At my 20 week sonogram they discovered that the boys had twin-twin transfusion syndrome and that it would be impossible for me to carry the boys to full term. Starting immediately I had to go in every 4 days for an amniocentesis, pretty much they stick a long needle into your abdomen and into the amniotic sac to drain off fluid. Usually an amnio is only done once for testing but in my case it had to be done often or else I would go into labor. They also found that Tanner had a bilateral cleft lip and palate, which would mean several surgeries throughout his life as well as a significant speech delay.
My amnio's were effective in keeping me from going into labor for several weeks but at 27 weeks the one thing that was helping me to ward off labor actually caused it. At the hospital no one gave me the time of day. The way they saw it a pregnant teenager didn't know what labor was and didn't understand what ttts was. In reality I was the only one that did know, they put me off for so long by the time they actually examined me I was at 7cm and there was no stopping my boys from coming. So, terrified as we were Matt and I went straight back to the operating room for an emergency c-section and at 7:41 Hunter came into the world at a tiny 2lbs 1.5oz 13" long, followed closely by Tanner at 7:43 at a slightly larger 2lbs 14oz 15" long. The nurses quickly showed them to Matt and I and then whisked them away to the NICU.
The NICU was a scary place for any parent. You walk in and the first thing you notice is the complete silence, only interrupted by the occasional bleep and blip of a machine and every one's heart paused for a second at the chime of an alarm. Every parent would stop and immediately look at the monitors thinking, "Is that our baby?". Going through the NICU is definitely a rollarcoaster ride and a very long one at that. After a month in the NICU Hunter was thriving, gaining weight and only needed help from oxygen every once in awhile. Tanner had been doing well, he was bigger so his weight wasn't our main concern. Due to his clefts he couldn't use a c-pap or nasal cannula if he needed oxygen, he had to be on a ventilator. Which, in turn, caused him to have two brain bleeds. That was a scary day, the doctors reassured us that they were both grade one so any brain damage would be minimal. Brain damage... I was terrified. Hearing that your child may have brain damage makes your heart stop, you chest aches and all you want to do is vomit. They told us all of the sono's they had done of his brain showed very minimal damage so we moved forward. After 62 days my boys came home. They started Early Intervention Services at 3 months knowing that they would have physical and developmental delays from prematurity.
They first year or so was a bit crazy. We moved out on our own right before I was to return to school for my senior year. Finding a baby sitter for one kid is expensive, finding one for two developmentally delayed children is outrageous. Matt was the only one working so that I could focus on school and the boys but somehow we made it. I graduated on time with all the people that I had started out in kindergarten with and was eager to start college. The boys had been doing well in therapy the only worrisome thing was that Tanner still wasn't walking or even pulling to stand. "It will take time", "Just look how far he's come" So we just went with it.
That's when things became a little too real. Matt and I split up and the boys and I had to move in with my step-mom, Tanner's therapy had once again hit a plateau, depression kicked in and the world just started to spit out of control. I ended up dropping out of college with every intention to return once things settled down.
Now:
Matt and I did reconcile, 2 years later we were married and getting ready to celebrate our first anniversary. We now own our home, we also have another little boy that just turned 2. A year ago we found that Tanner's brain bleeds actually did cause damage and he was diagnosed with spastic diplegic cerebral palsy, he cannot walk or stand without assistance and uses a wheelchair. He's also had 6 surgeries thus far on his cleft lip and palate, this has caused a significant speech delay but Hunter is always right there to translate. Hunter is almost caught except for a speech delay. Both boys are working hard in therapy through pre-school and are doing quite well. They are each other's best friends and are both looking forward to starting school again in just a few weeks.
I was a teenager when I found out I was pregnant, to add to that shock I found out that I was carrying twin boys. It was time to grow up because there was no going back, so that's exactly what I did. At my 20 week sonogram they discovered that the boys had twin-twin transfusion syndrome and that it would be impossible for me to carry the boys to full term. Starting immediately I had to go in every 4 days for an amniocentesis, pretty much they stick a long needle into your abdomen and into the amniotic sac to drain off fluid. Usually an amnio is only done once for testing but in my case it had to be done often or else I would go into labor. They also found that Tanner had a bilateral cleft lip and palate, which would mean several surgeries throughout his life as well as a significant speech delay.
My amnio's were effective in keeping me from going into labor for several weeks but at 27 weeks the one thing that was helping me to ward off labor actually caused it. At the hospital no one gave me the time of day. The way they saw it a pregnant teenager didn't know what labor was and didn't understand what ttts was. In reality I was the only one that did know, they put me off for so long by the time they actually examined me I was at 7cm and there was no stopping my boys from coming. So, terrified as we were Matt and I went straight back to the operating room for an emergency c-section and at 7:41 Hunter came into the world at a tiny 2lbs 1.5oz 13" long, followed closely by Tanner at 7:43 at a slightly larger 2lbs 14oz 15" long. The nurses quickly showed them to Matt and I and then whisked them away to the NICU.
The NICU was a scary place for any parent. You walk in and the first thing you notice is the complete silence, only interrupted by the occasional bleep and blip of a machine and every one's heart paused for a second at the chime of an alarm. Every parent would stop and immediately look at the monitors thinking, "Is that our baby?". Going through the NICU is definitely a rollarcoaster ride and a very long one at that. After a month in the NICU Hunter was thriving, gaining weight and only needed help from oxygen every once in awhile. Tanner had been doing well, he was bigger so his weight wasn't our main concern. Due to his clefts he couldn't use a c-pap or nasal cannula if he needed oxygen, he had to be on a ventilator. Which, in turn, caused him to have two brain bleeds. That was a scary day, the doctors reassured us that they were both grade one so any brain damage would be minimal. Brain damage... I was terrified. Hearing that your child may have brain damage makes your heart stop, you chest aches and all you want to do is vomit. They told us all of the sono's they had done of his brain showed very minimal damage so we moved forward. After 62 days my boys came home. They started Early Intervention Services at 3 months knowing that they would have physical and developmental delays from prematurity.
They first year or so was a bit crazy. We moved out on our own right before I was to return to school for my senior year. Finding a baby sitter for one kid is expensive, finding one for two developmentally delayed children is outrageous. Matt was the only one working so that I could focus on school and the boys but somehow we made it. I graduated on time with all the people that I had started out in kindergarten with and was eager to start college. The boys had been doing well in therapy the only worrisome thing was that Tanner still wasn't walking or even pulling to stand. "It will take time", "Just look how far he's come" So we just went with it.
That's when things became a little too real. Matt and I split up and the boys and I had to move in with my step-mom, Tanner's therapy had once again hit a plateau, depression kicked in and the world just started to spit out of control. I ended up dropping out of college with every intention to return once things settled down.
Now:
Matt and I did reconcile, 2 years later we were married and getting ready to celebrate our first anniversary. We now own our home, we also have another little boy that just turned 2. A year ago we found that Tanner's brain bleeds actually did cause damage and he was diagnosed with spastic diplegic cerebral palsy, he cannot walk or stand without assistance and uses a wheelchair. He's also had 6 surgeries thus far on his cleft lip and palate, this has caused a significant speech delay but Hunter is always right there to translate. Hunter is almost caught except for a speech delay. Both boys are working hard in therapy through pre-school and are doing quite well. They are each other's best friends and are both looking forward to starting school again in just a few weeks.
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